Rough week, but God is good!!!!

 

Well, it has been a rough week for me...lots of emotions, lots of nausea, lots of not eating, lots of forcing liquids, lots of "What have I done", lots of of weight disappearing, lots of feeling better, lots of thanking God for this amazingly difficult opportunity to change my life!!!!! Okay...so I am officially 54 lbs down!!! THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR MERCIES AND YOUR GRACE!!!!!!!

 

 That is the good news!!  The rough news is that I can't drink water ( makes me totally nauseated), can't drink or eat anything cold (makes me totally nauseated), most everything else I eat or drink makes me somewhat nauseated...everything except for hot tea!!!!  I could drink hot tea all day with absolutely NO problems!!!  Unfortunately, while that definitely keeps me hydrated, it does nothing for my caloric or protein intake. SIGH 

 

 It is a major chore to drink my two protein shakes each day...it takes me several hours to get it down. I am able to take my vitamins with no problem, but that is about it for now. I am not taking in but a bite or two of most anything...lots of failed meals!! LOL

 

I will have a great idea of something I think I can eat, and then I take a bite and I very quickly feel like I am on a boat in the middle of the ocean tossing in the waves and turning green! UGH There is no rhyme or reason to it either...that is what is so weird!! For example...I made some tuna salad the other day...just simple tuna salad. I was able to take about three tiny bites (the size of my pinkie fingernail) before I could just take it no more!!! But, early this morning...I'm talking like 5am...I took some of that same tuna, about 1 oz, put it in a small bowl and sprinkled some grated sharp cheddar cheese on it and pupped it in the microwave to heat and melt the cheese and over the course of the next 45 minutes I slowly ate every delicious bite of it!!  I was so excited...I wanted to wake everyone up and scream that I actually ate something without wanting to throw it up. Sorry...tmi...just keepin it real...cause, well that is just how it is. :-)

 

So, lets see...yogurt...nope. cottage cheese...nope, baby bel cheese...nope. Eggs...nope...not scrambled,not soft boiled,not egg salad,not soft poached...not no way not no how!!!   Made some ham salad the other night...one meal it was great, another it was not so good. I am currently trying to eat a cheese stick. So far so good. Just a little nausea, but doable. Just have to remember to take TINY TINY TINY bites!!!! I mean seriously...46 years of habits to undo...this is HARD!!!!!

 

We went to Cracker Barrel tonight and I got some meatloaf and vegetables. Started with some hot green tea before the food came. It usually helps everything to go down better. I started eating and then BAM...the nausea hit like a Mac Truck then something got stuck. I tried to get through it and wait it out, but I started crying...my sweet Angel hubby tried to talk me through it...he has been my rock through this. I am so thankful that God gave him to me for this life! I'm sure glad he puts up with me...God I love him so much!!!!!

 

Well, I have nearly finished this cheese stick. So far so good.

 

As I was getting out of the van at Cracker Barrel tonight David came around the back of the van and said, "STOP! Don't move...I can see it! I can see it in your face and your shoulders!!!!" We both cried and he took my picture...here it is.

 

 

 The bottom line...this task before me is impossible!!!  It is too hard!!! But thankfully I don't have to walk this road alone...my Savior is with me every step of the way!!! He has given me an amazing spouse to help me...and amazing children who encourage me. I am blessed beyond measure!!

 

In HIS Mighty Grip

 

Shelley