Did I say this was HARD??????

Okay...so don't ever let anyone tell you that Bariatric surgery is the easy way out to loose weight. I mean, sure the weight falls off like rain down a gutter, but that is the only easy thing about it! I am so sick of the nausea, the vomiting, only being able to eat one or two bites of anything. Only being able to eat a very short list of anything anyway! Oh, then there is the sipping...not drinking, but sipping of liquids. It takes me the better part of an hour or more to drink a 16 oz bottle of water!! I am supposed to take in about 100 oz of liquid a day...seriously!!! When you consider that I cannot drink anything for one hour after eating anything, that leaves very few hours in the day to get those 100 oz in. I have been getting up around 4 am or so and just sitting on the edge of the bed and sipping water in the dark, just to get it in. How NUTS is that???!!! Oh, and I can't take plain water at all...makes me want to throw up!!! Sorry...it does!!! So I have to either drink tea or dump those drink Mix-ins into my bottles of water. David makes me 4 cups (about 12 oz each) of hot tea at a time and I put it in my big coffee carafe to keep it hot. Then there is food...

Okay, so most everything I eat has been making me feel like I am on a deepsea fishing boat turning greener with each passing moment. You can certainly understand my aversion to and anxiety to attempting to eat anything!!! UGH

We went to Ruby Tuesday on Sunday night after church. The girls got Pasta and a salad bar, David got a seafood trio and made several meals out of it. I was not sure what to get, because I was afraid I would be making a mad dash to the bathroon if I ate the wrong thing...I ended up ordering a turkey slider off the kids menu. It was about the size of a Krystal burger. There were two of them and they had cheese on them. I took the bread off , and started eating my tiny little bites of burger. My bites have to be about the size of my pinky fingernail...seriously!!!  I felt like a rabbit chewing the tiny little bit with my front teeth. I chewed forever and then I chewed it a few more times and finally took a deep breath and swallowed. It went down fine,but within a couple of minutes into the second bite...the nausea started rolling in like waves on a North Florida Nor Easter!!!!! I got through about 1/4 of one of the burgers and finally just gave up. It wasn't worth it!!!

When we got out to the van, David gave me some strong peppermint gum to chew to try to help with the nausea and I brought a To-Go cup with me just in case that didn't work. I just sat up straight and breathed as deeply as I could as I attempted to keep the tiny little amount of food down. We made it home and I did indeed keep it down...but I was done for the night with food!!! I took my vitamins and drank some more and went to bed!!! Monday morning I called my nutritionist at the Bariatric center and told her what was still going on.

Basically I am getting enough fluids, but nowhere NEAR enough calories or protein!!! Not even close. We talked it from every angle and finally decided that before we try Phenergan, that it might be acid in my little pouch causing all the trouble. She suggested I start taking Pepcid every night and see if that helps. Also ginger tea, crystalized ginger pieces, peppermint to whiff when I feel sick.  So, I took a Pepcid right them and then took one last night. Okay...so, I THINK...I THINK it might be helping a bit. I am not suffering as much with the nausea. I ate most all of the rest of the little burgers yesterday with basically no problems. I drank flavored water early this morning with no problems and about 5 am I had about an oz of chicken salad. I ate it very slowly and chewed it too oblivion and I had no problems!!! Today I got about half of my protein shake down and have been drinking flavored water. David made me tea and it is going down fine also!!!  We are just finishing up school and I am going to attempt some more food!!

I am praying that as I get more of the Pepic in my system, it will continue to work and allow me to get the calories and protein in that I need!!!! I covet your prayers dear friends!!!! I would still do it all over again...I know this will pass in time and I will be able to eat again. I know this won't last forever!!!

In other news...I have lost 59 pounds!!!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!!!!

In HIS Mighty Grip

Shelley

Rough week, but God is good!!!!

 

Well, it has been a rough week for me...lots of emotions, lots of nausea, lots of not eating, lots of forcing liquids, lots of "What have I done", lots of of weight disappearing, lots of feeling better, lots of thanking God for this amazingly difficult opportunity to change my life!!!!! Okay...so I am officially 54 lbs down!!! THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR MERCIES AND YOUR GRACE!!!!!!!

 

 That is the good news!!  The rough news is that I can't drink water ( makes me totally nauseated), can't drink or eat anything cold (makes me totally nauseated), most everything else I eat or drink makes me somewhat nauseated...everything except for hot tea!!!!  I could drink hot tea all day with absolutely NO problems!!!  Unfortunately, while that definitely keeps me hydrated, it does nothing for my caloric or protein intake. SIGH 

 

 It is a major chore to drink my two protein shakes each day...it takes me several hours to get it down. I am able to take my vitamins with no problem, but that is about it for now. I am not taking in but a bite or two of most anything...lots of failed meals!! LOL

 

I will have a great idea of something I think I can eat, and then I take a bite and I very quickly feel like I am on a boat in the middle of the ocean tossing in the waves and turning green! UGH There is no rhyme or reason to it either...that is what is so weird!! For example...I made some tuna salad the other day...just simple tuna salad. I was able to take about three tiny bites (the size of my pinkie fingernail) before I could just take it no more!!! But, early this morning...I'm talking like 5am...I took some of that same tuna, about 1 oz, put it in a small bowl and sprinkled some grated sharp cheddar cheese on it and pupped it in the microwave to heat and melt the cheese and over the course of the next 45 minutes I slowly ate every delicious bite of it!!  I was so excited...I wanted to wake everyone up and scream that I actually ate something without wanting to throw it up. Sorry...tmi...just keepin it real...cause, well that is just how it is. :-)

 

So, lets see...yogurt...nope. cottage cheese...nope, baby bel cheese...nope. Eggs...nope...not scrambled,not soft boiled,not egg salad,not soft poached...not no way not no how!!!   Made some ham salad the other night...one meal it was great, another it was not so good. I am currently trying to eat a cheese stick. So far so good. Just a little nausea, but doable. Just have to remember to take TINY TINY TINY bites!!!! I mean seriously...46 years of habits to undo...this is HARD!!!!!

 

We went to Cracker Barrel tonight and I got some meatloaf and vegetables. Started with some hot green tea before the food came. It usually helps everything to go down better. I started eating and then BAM...the nausea hit like a Mac Truck then something got stuck. I tried to get through it and wait it out, but I started crying...my sweet Angel hubby tried to talk me through it...he has been my rock through this. I am so thankful that God gave him to me for this life! I'm sure glad he puts up with me...God I love him so much!!!!!

 

Well, I have nearly finished this cheese stick. So far so good.

 

As I was getting out of the van at Cracker Barrel tonight David came around the back of the van and said, "STOP! Don't move...I can see it! I can see it in your face and your shoulders!!!!" We both cried and he took my picture...here it is.

 

 

 The bottom line...this task before me is impossible!!!  It is too hard!!! But thankfully I don't have to walk this road alone...my Savior is with me every step of the way!!! He has given me an amazing spouse to help me...and amazing children who encourage me. I am blessed beyond measure!!

 

In HIS Mighty Grip

 

Shelley

Guess...go ahead...guess...

Okay...so I hadn't weighed in a while so I bit the bullet and stepped upon the scales this morning. I have officially hit the 50 lb mark!!!!  WHOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!! I can't see it yet in the mirror, but a friend was over here a little while ago and before she even sat down or heard how much I had lost yet, she said that she could see it in my face. I know that clothes are starting to get pretty loose. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!

I am feeling great...moving well...sleeping better...and my eating issues seem to be getting better. I still can't drink water or most anything cold without getting very nauseated. Hot tea is still my best friend!! But I can drink my protein shakes okay and am able to eat more than two bites of food!!

Thanks to everyone for all the continued prayer support !! Could't do it without you!!!!

In HIS MIGHTY MIGHTY Grip!!!!
Shelley