Did I say this was HARD??????

Okay...so don't ever let anyone tell you that Bariatric surgery is the easy way out to loose weight. I mean, sure the weight falls off like rain down a gutter, but that is the only easy thing about it! I am so sick of the nausea, the vomiting, only being able to eat one or two bites of anything. Only being able to eat a very short list of anything anyway! Oh, then there is the sipping...not drinking, but sipping of liquids. It takes me the better part of an hour or more to drink a 16 oz bottle of water!! I am supposed to take in about 100 oz of liquid a day...seriously!!! When you consider that I cannot drink anything for one hour after eating anything, that leaves very few hours in the day to get those 100 oz in. I have been getting up around 4 am or so and just sitting on the edge of the bed and sipping water in the dark, just to get it in. How NUTS is that???!!! Oh, and I can't take plain water at all...makes me want to throw up!!! Sorry...it does!!! So I have to either drink tea or dump those drink Mix-ins into my bottles of water. David makes me 4 cups (about 12 oz each) of hot tea at a time and I put it in my big coffee carafe to keep it hot. Then there is food...

Okay, so most everything I eat has been making me feel like I am on a deepsea fishing boat turning greener with each passing moment. You can certainly understand my aversion to and anxiety to attempting to eat anything!!! UGH

We went to Ruby Tuesday on Sunday night after church. The girls got Pasta and a salad bar, David got a seafood trio and made several meals out of it. I was not sure what to get, because I was afraid I would be making a mad dash to the bathroon if I ate the wrong thing...I ended up ordering a turkey slider off the kids menu. It was about the size of a Krystal burger. There were two of them and they had cheese on them. I took the bread off , and started eating my tiny little bites of burger. My bites have to be about the size of my pinky fingernail...seriously!!!  I felt like a rabbit chewing the tiny little bit with my front teeth. I chewed forever and then I chewed it a few more times and finally took a deep breath and swallowed. It went down fine,but within a couple of minutes into the second bite...the nausea started rolling in like waves on a North Florida Nor Easter!!!!! I got through about 1/4 of one of the burgers and finally just gave up. It wasn't worth it!!!

When we got out to the van, David gave me some strong peppermint gum to chew to try to help with the nausea and I brought a To-Go cup with me just in case that didn't work. I just sat up straight and breathed as deeply as I could as I attempted to keep the tiny little amount of food down. We made it home and I did indeed keep it down...but I was done for the night with food!!! I took my vitamins and drank some more and went to bed!!! Monday morning I called my nutritionist at the Bariatric center and told her what was still going on.

Basically I am getting enough fluids, but nowhere NEAR enough calories or protein!!! Not even close. We talked it from every angle and finally decided that before we try Phenergan, that it might be acid in my little pouch causing all the trouble. She suggested I start taking Pepcid every night and see if that helps. Also ginger tea, crystalized ginger pieces, peppermint to whiff when I feel sick.  So, I took a Pepcid right them and then took one last night. Okay...so, I THINK...I THINK it might be helping a bit. I am not suffering as much with the nausea. I ate most all of the rest of the little burgers yesterday with basically no problems. I drank flavored water early this morning with no problems and about 5 am I had about an oz of chicken salad. I ate it very slowly and chewed it too oblivion and I had no problems!!! Today I got about half of my protein shake down and have been drinking flavored water. David made me tea and it is going down fine also!!!  We are just finishing up school and I am going to attempt some more food!!

I am praying that as I get more of the Pepic in my system, it will continue to work and allow me to get the calories and protein in that I need!!!! I covet your prayers dear friends!!!! I would still do it all over again...I know this will pass in time and I will be able to eat again. I know this won't last forever!!!

In other news...I have lost 59 pounds!!!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!!!!

In HIS Mighty Grip

Shelley

Rough week, but God is good!!!!

 

Well, it has been a rough week for me...lots of emotions, lots of nausea, lots of not eating, lots of forcing liquids, lots of "What have I done", lots of of weight disappearing, lots of feeling better, lots of thanking God for this amazingly difficult opportunity to change my life!!!!! Okay...so I am officially 54 lbs down!!! THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR MERCIES AND YOUR GRACE!!!!!!!

 

 That is the good news!!  The rough news is that I can't drink water ( makes me totally nauseated), can't drink or eat anything cold (makes me totally nauseated), most everything else I eat or drink makes me somewhat nauseated...everything except for hot tea!!!!  I could drink hot tea all day with absolutely NO problems!!!  Unfortunately, while that definitely keeps me hydrated, it does nothing for my caloric or protein intake. SIGH 

 

 It is a major chore to drink my two protein shakes each day...it takes me several hours to get it down. I am able to take my vitamins with no problem, but that is about it for now. I am not taking in but a bite or two of most anything...lots of failed meals!! LOL

 

I will have a great idea of something I think I can eat, and then I take a bite and I very quickly feel like I am on a boat in the middle of the ocean tossing in the waves and turning green! UGH There is no rhyme or reason to it either...that is what is so weird!! For example...I made some tuna salad the other day...just simple tuna salad. I was able to take about three tiny bites (the size of my pinkie fingernail) before I could just take it no more!!! But, early this morning...I'm talking like 5am...I took some of that same tuna, about 1 oz, put it in a small bowl and sprinkled some grated sharp cheddar cheese on it and pupped it in the microwave to heat and melt the cheese and over the course of the next 45 minutes I slowly ate every delicious bite of it!!  I was so excited...I wanted to wake everyone up and scream that I actually ate something without wanting to throw it up. Sorry...tmi...just keepin it real...cause, well that is just how it is. :-)

 

So, lets see...yogurt...nope. cottage cheese...nope, baby bel cheese...nope. Eggs...nope...not scrambled,not soft boiled,not egg salad,not soft poached...not no way not no how!!!   Made some ham salad the other night...one meal it was great, another it was not so good. I am currently trying to eat a cheese stick. So far so good. Just a little nausea, but doable. Just have to remember to take TINY TINY TINY bites!!!! I mean seriously...46 years of habits to undo...this is HARD!!!!!

 

We went to Cracker Barrel tonight and I got some meatloaf and vegetables. Started with some hot green tea before the food came. It usually helps everything to go down better. I started eating and then BAM...the nausea hit like a Mac Truck then something got stuck. I tried to get through it and wait it out, but I started crying...my sweet Angel hubby tried to talk me through it...he has been my rock through this. I am so thankful that God gave him to me for this life! I'm sure glad he puts up with me...God I love him so much!!!!!

 

Well, I have nearly finished this cheese stick. So far so good.

 

As I was getting out of the van at Cracker Barrel tonight David came around the back of the van and said, "STOP! Don't move...I can see it! I can see it in your face and your shoulders!!!!" We both cried and he took my picture...here it is.

 

 

 The bottom line...this task before me is impossible!!!  It is too hard!!! But thankfully I don't have to walk this road alone...my Savior is with me every step of the way!!! He has given me an amazing spouse to help me...and amazing children who encourage me. I am blessed beyond measure!!

 

In HIS Mighty Grip

 

Shelley

Guess...go ahead...guess...

Okay...so I hadn't weighed in a while so I bit the bullet and stepped upon the scales this morning. I have officially hit the 50 lb mark!!!!  WHOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!! I can't see it yet in the mirror, but a friend was over here a little while ago and before she even sat down or heard how much I had lost yet, she said that she could see it in my face. I know that clothes are starting to get pretty loose. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!

I am feeling great...moving well...sleeping better...and my eating issues seem to be getting better. I still can't drink water or most anything cold without getting very nauseated. Hot tea is still my best friend!! But I can drink my protein shakes okay and am able to eat more than two bites of food!!

Thanks to everyone for all the continued prayer support !! Could't do it without you!!!!

In HIS MIGHTY MIGHTY Grip!!!!
Shelley

It's official...I'm MELTING....

I went to my first post-op Dr appointment today. I am officially...by their scales...down 36 pounds!!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!  I think it might be more by my scales, but whatever...as long as the direction is DOWN, I can live with it!!!  

The Dear Dr. said that I am doing great, my wounds are healing fine, my BMI is down by SIX points!! The only thing I told him was that I wasn't getting enough water...close, but not quite enough. So he said to be vigilant about that. I then met with the nutritionist and told her what I have been eating and she was pleased as well. Of course everyone reminded me, now that I am off of pureed foods, to chew chew chew chew chew everything into oblivion. The Dr. said..."If you think the bite is small enough, cut it in half...if you think you have chewed it enough, chew it 10x more."

I am totally blown away at how quickly I am getting mobility back. Don't get me wrong, I'm not walking around the block yet or anything close, but I am not using my cane much...I keep leaving it elsewhere in the house and wander around looking for it. I am in the kitchen now getting dinner ready for the clan and I was so excited to not only wash up some pots and pans, get the chili going, and start some eggs to hard boil, clean up my mess and throw all the trash in the trash can all before I even looked around for my kitchen chair. Believe me...that is huge for me at this point!!!! I've already been warned (David and my Daddy) not to overdo it and not to do too much yet. I know...I know...but it felt so good to be a little bit NORMAL!!!!!

I am sleeping better than I have in a long long time. I think I might have finally gotten a handle on the ankle cramps I was getting at night. I knew it wasn't a potassium issue, but I finally determined that it was something I could stop by taking my muscle relaxer before bed and doing a good bit of leg stretches and ankle stretches during the day. I haven't had any more cramping episodes in several nights. Thank GOD...it was getting REALLY old!!!!

So, after we left the Dr. office today we had a quick lunch (quick...that's funny...it takes me and David FOREVER to eat now!!!!) Anyway, I got some broccoli cheddar soup and a 1/2 Cuban sandwich...I can't eat the bread, but I just ate the meat/cheese off the sandwich and ate most of the cup of soup. Actually the meat was a bit dry and not going down too well, so Aly gave me the turkey off of her mini turkey slider that she didn't want. That went down perfectly!

I pulled out some of the chili from the freezer that I made last month and we are going to have that for dinner tonight. I still am amazed that just 2 oz of that will totally fill me up!! Well, probably closer to 3oz. I eat 2 oz of protein and 1 oz of veg or fruit.

Tomorrow we are heading to the beach for the day...can't wait...we haven't been in a long time and I love the beach so!!!

So, have I told you about my incredible husband? Well, I owe him for so much of my success thus far. He has been amazing and has helped me to navigate all of it. Literally bite by bite of food, step by step through the pain after surgery and everything in between. He has been my rock through it all. I can't imagine having gone through this without his constant love and support!!!! I love you baby!!!!

To all two of you who are following this blog...thanks for stopping by!!! God Bless you!!!

Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.  PS 86:11

 

In HIS Mighty Grip

Shelley

A Good Evening...

Well, I am starting to feel a good bit more normal again. My hubby and girls took me out last night. We usually head out to the Disney Store at the Outlet Mall on Friday nights for a Disney Pin Trading group, then we head out to dinner afterwards. So, we decided to go for it. But, what to do about dinner? Well, I figured...worst case scenario, I could just get some mashed potatoes and gravy. So, David and I decided to get a dinner and split it...well, not really split it as I am only eating about 2-3 oz of anything!!!  Anyway, we got some very tender roast and I pulled off a little bit of it. I got a spoon full of mashed potatoes, one carrot, and a for full of green beans...oh, and I asked the waitress for a big bowl of gravy so I could get it down!!!!
I was so thankful to have David there to talk me through each bite. Were talking bites like the size of my fingernail here...plus lots of gravy and chewing it until my jaw about popped off. It was basically liquefied before I swallowed anything!!! It was so very good and I ate most of it. I had no problems at all!!! Thank you God!!!!! I couldn't have anything to drink for an hour, and it was perfect timing by the time we got home and changed clothes and got settled in for the evening. Just in time to drink my last shake and take my vitamins. So, my first night out, eating normal, non pureed food was a rousing success!!
Speaking of shakes, someone asked me what shakes I use. I am currently drinking PURE protein shakes. They have 23 gr of protein, 3 carbs and the frosty chocolate is actually pretty good if I add about 4 oz of unsweetened almond milk!!
I tell ya...it is a full time job figuring out how to get in all that I have to get in...AM vitamins, PM vitamins, Iron pill ( can't take within 2 hours either way of any calcium), two protein shakes, 100 oz water (or other sugar free drinks/liquids) and four very small protein meals...and you can't drink anything for one hour after eating!!!! ARGH  By the way, I have decided that it is NOT a happy thing to go for an hour after eating pureed tuna before drinking something!!!!! YUCK!!! Had to go brush my on that one!!!!
So, as of yesterday morning I have lost 29 lbs since surgery on the 14th. I was so so so so stoked!! God is so good and so faithful and has brought us through David's surgery and now mine and we are so excited to watch him carve our new lives out of this incredible gift we have been given!!!

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 

                                        II Corinthians 12:9

In HIS Mighty Grip
Shelley

Day six...

It has been six days since surgery. I was starting to worry yesterday that the pain on my left side (where the largest incision is located) would never let up. I had been taking the maximum amount of my pain meds and I was really over it. I tried yesterday to back off on the Lortab, but that was a mistake!!! LOL  Anyway, last night...kind of late...I noticed that I really felt good. I mean, other than the pain on my abdomen, I didn't have any joint pain or back pain, or anything....I just felt, well, normal!!  I decided to go for it an get on the scales. I almost fell off the scales, when I realized that I have lost 21lbs since surgery! Seriously????!!!!! I am truly humbled and amazed!!!  Aly was standing behind me and said, "Well?" I sat back down and told her ...she just hugged me and said, "Way to go Mom!" That made everything worth it!!!!! TOTALLY Worth it!!!! God is good!!!!
This morning I didn't wake up til about 10 and as soon as I sat up I coughed...like a normal cough....and I didn't tear up with pain from it.  <<SIGH>>> I only took a half dose of my pain med! So far I have no regrets...not one. Not for one second!!!!
God is indeed GREAT!!!!
In HIS MIGHTY Grip
Shelley

First Day home...

Good afternoon all!!!  I just finished my first real food since surgery...one oz of pureed egg salad, prepared by my little love muffin Alyson!! It took me about 35 minutes to eat it, but it went down with no problems. Thanking God for no problems!!!! 

I actually slept well last night as well. I got about 6 hours and then got up to move a bit and take my medicine and then I actually went back to sleep for about another 5 hours! I haven't slept that much in many months!!!! What a blessing!!  Lili was so sweet, she asked if she could sleep in the living room with me so she would be nearby in case I needed anything. Oh how I love my beautiful children!!!

In HIS Mighty Grip
Shelley